When parents favor one of their adult children with more financial aid than others, it can wreak emotional havoc on the whole family. How would you feel if your brother or sister refused to help you even though they knew about your financial crisis? A Redditor’s sister criticized her brother for not spending money on her baby.
At some point, siblings might start to envy you for being your parents’ golden child. “Jealous” doesn’t even begin to describe what some of them feel when their parents favor their older children. Sometimes children feel neglected and start to pick on each other.
Some parents prefer to spoil their children while others are more frugal and tend to invest in their child’s future.
According to Forbes, about 65% of parents are frustrated with having enough money to pay for their children’s education. But that doesn’t stop them from saving money for their children’s future.
REDDITOR REFUSES TO HELP A SUR IN THE FIGHT
According to Mariel beasley, co-founder of the Common Cents Lab, it is not recommended to borrow money from family or friends who may need financial help in the near future. Before you lend to a loved one, you should consider whether you need to be paid back. For example, a 19-year-old college student refused to spend her college funds on her sister’s baby when she asked for help. In his article on Reddit, he noted:
“Because they’re struggling, and right now I’m on a scholarship at my college, so I didn’t need to use the money. She’s angry because I told her no.”
The Redditor’s sister knew that her father had saved over $ 75,000 to go to college, and since he was a scholarship recipient, he could afford to lend a hand. The Redditor added that money was a contingency if he lost his purse.
SHOULD BROTHERS HELPING ANYTHING?
A Redditor was eager to finally go to college when his mother broke the unexpected news. She asked the Redditor to share some of her college funds with her brother. In her message, she added:
âI told my mom that I didn’t want to share my college funds; A) because the university is [expletive] dear, and B) I’m planning on getting my doctorates after my undergrad year and will be in debt of around $ 200,000 to $ 300,000 and need a little money saved not to drown myself in debt. “
EACH TO HIS LIMIT
Sometimes not everyone in the same household enjoys equal financial stability. For example, a woman never hesitated to help her brother, who was struggling with financial setbacks. But after a certain point, it got too much for her. Speaking to Salon, she noted:
“My brother and his wife are both financially irresponsible and blame everyone but themselves when things go wrong.”
The sister also mentioned that it broke her heart to see her brother struggle like this. Being well off was not her fault and the woman had to take care of her family. Still, she helped her brother, which most of us would.
SOME ADULTS TREAT CHILDREN DIFFERENTLY
Adults see it as a moral obligation to fund their children’s education, but sometimes they tend to favor one child over the other. For example, a Redditor Explain why her aunt set up a college fund for her but not for her sister. She wrote:
“… my mom sat me down and asked if I would be willing to go to a cheaper school to have some extra money to share with Kim. Aunt Amy set up a fund for me and my two cousins, but didn’t have a dime for Kim. “
In several comparable scenarios, children who get a larger share of the finances are often blamed for being treated differently.
COLLEGE FUND BECOMES A BUSINESS INVESTMENT
In some cases, financial problems begin when parents decide they can use their children’s college funds to pay for their expenses. One person experienced this setback when her parents spent her college funds on a bankrupt business she spoke about noted:
âMy great-grandparents left their four great-grandchildren $ 10,000 for college in investment accounts. Five years after their deaths, the accounts were worth $ 30,000 each, thanks to a smart investment of my uncle. At this point my parents closed mine and my brother’s accounts and invested the $ 60,000 in their business. “
The writer’s parents divorced shortly after their business went bankrupt, and they did not discover the university’s fund until years later. They also added that they graduated from college with a mountain of debt thanks to their parents’ actions. According to CNBC, parents find it difficult to repay loans. More than 16 percent of borrowing parents defaulted on the loan within five years of borrowing.
FINANCIAL CONCERNS CAN MAKE OR BREAK A RELATIONSHIP
Being a brother with a growing list of responsibilities, a person didn’t know if he was wrong not to help his bankrupt brother. The user asked Quora for advice on how to handle frequent requests for financial aid from his brother, and a person responded:
âTell him NO. Tell him that you have loans and responsibilities, and that he is old enough to find a job. He shouldn’t live on your income. If it starts again, say “No” and hang up the phone. ”
Family dynamics can get very complicated, especially when your parents are doing something for you while neglecting your siblings. In times like this, you might be forced to choose between your siblings and your dreams.
IS IT FAIR TO ASK CHILDREN TO SHARE THEIR COLLEGE FUNDS?
In some ways, the relationship between the âgolden childâ and his siblings embodies those who have saved different amounts of money in their college funds. In rare cases, the wealth gap does not hurt their relationship.
Many experts say that the way families deal with this situation depends on several factors, including the strength of sibling relationships, the cause of the disparity, the ability of parents to save, etc.
Although the norm is to divide the financial aid equally, it becomes more complicated because of half-siblings, second marriages and stepfamilies. Moreover, the problem is that we have evolved to expect equality in the family. But the constant sibling battle prevails when the financial balance between the two differs, things starting with the differences in their college background.
Do you think parents should reconsider their decisions and contribute equally to their children’s education funds? While it’s okay to invest more money in a child’s college fund, is it a fair decision to ask them to share it with their siblings later? Your comments are appreciated! Thanks for reading!